I am trying to understand how my little chicken ankle could carry me nearly half way up Mt. Rainier a couple of weeks ago and then snap like a twig in a friendly pick-up soccer match on a pancake-flat Florida field.
And yet, here I am with this new mountain to climb.
To all my home health physical therapy patients over the last twenty some-odd years, I issue this formal apology and plea for forgiveness:
"I am so sorry for all the times I came into your home all perky and energetic when you felt like you'd been hit by a truck. I am sorry for saying it didn't matter one bit that your house was a mess. It did matter because I got to leave and you had to sit there looking at it and feeling even worse because you couldn't get up and fix it the way you wanted to. I am sorry for teaching you how to use your assistive devices like it was a piece of cake. Crutches suck. They are hard as heck to use especially at 3am when it is dark and you need to pee. I am sorry for telling you to ask for help. It doesn't matter how much your family loves you or you love them, it is really hard to ask for their help to do the tiniest tasks like carry a glass of water from the kitchen to the sofa. It is also terribly depressing when you see dishes in the sink and you can't stand long enough to wash them without needing to sit down and rest. It is no fun at all having to have someone help you get dressed and not being able to take a shower whenever you want really, really, (really!) stinks. Yuck. And spending the same amount of money on an orthopedic brace that you and your husband were going to spend in a super nice hotel celebrating your 20th wedding anniversary (which happens to be tomorrow) really, really, really sucks (OK so that never really happened, but I am feeling extra sorry for myself and just needed to throw that in). Thanks for listening....Next time I will do better. Next time, I will shut up and just listen and love you in your sorrow. Next time, I will...
With Love,
Your humbly reformed and extremely empathetic caregiver,
Robin"
With Love,
Your humbly reformed and extremely empathetic caregiver,
Robin"
oh robin....is it wrong that this is my favorite post of yours? not the part that you are in pain and frustrated--but he part that you understand something brand new...after all that time. kind of amazing. praying that your little chicken ankle heals perfectly and quickly. wish i was closer and could help you!!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo
You have helped me so much just by reading my heart. Thank you, my writer friend! Love, Robin
ReplyDeleteRobin...I wish i could be your home "hellth" PT---LOL! Thinking of you and I have been there...not fun! Hate the not taking a shower part....I had to go to my hairdresser just to wash my hair and fix it...so I would feel better :) It works...
ReplyDeleteWish I lived closer too....Don't play anymore soccer!
Jen
Jen, love the "hellth" joke! Your Journey was so much more challenging than this and your courage gives me great inspiration and strength now. Just never thought when we were roommates in PT school and studying all this stuff that I would be utilizing my knowledge in quite THIS way, you know? I much prefer to be on the caregiving side of the fence! Love you!
ReplyDeleteOh Robin..so wish I was closer and could grab that water for you..and help!! Sending you all my best wishes for your 20th..and hoping you can slip away to that fabulous hotel sometime soon, if not tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteyou are such a special friend to listen to me today when you are going through all that!! LOVE YOU!